Tuesday, January 1, 2013

What Is Love....Baby Don't Hurt Me.....

Life is a vast canvas that we paint with our life experiences. If your painting was unveiled today, what would it look like?

I've always felt that we are all here for one central reason....LOVE. That means, we seek to love and be loved. Without it, there is no reason to exist. Everything that we do incorporates some form of love - our work, our philanthropy, our time, our conversations, our relationships. We are not always born into love, but the human condition craves it, making it our lifelong journey to find happiness. And along this journey, it is inevitable that we experience hurt. Hurt is a derivative of love.

Love is in full bloom when you open up your heart with vulnerability, honesty and complete abandon - not caring what happens in that moment that you love as long as you can FEEL that one crazy emotion that would make you lay down your life for another. If you have ever been lucky enough to feel that rush, to ride that high, to look in another's eyes and see nothing but good, then you have felt love.

But, what happens when something gets a little whopper-jawed and love doesn't seem so easy anymore? It's no longer effortless, but more of a chore to get to that feeling of bliss. Let's examine further.

Relationships take work, effort, and action -- and it's the constant, sustained action that keeps the home fires burning. Sometimes life just gets in the way and there's no time for nurturing, so we just roll along with complacency and eventually things start falling apart. Wouldn't it be fair to say if we took as much time out of every day for relationship maintenance as we did on Facebook, Twitter or texting, we'd all be in a better place?

Arguably, some say it takes more than love to make a long-term relationship work. I say love it is a flower, and you it's only seed. (Wait, isn't that a song?) Moving on. It takes a lot to make a relationship work: patience, respect, time, trust, communication, understanding, compromise, etc. I could go all day. But, ALL of those qualities arise out of love. If you truly love someone, you never forget the reasons why you were drawn to them. You never forget what makes them smile or laugh. You never forget those amazing moments when you couldn't see spending any moment of your life without them in it. And you'll never forget how they made you feel.

So, if you're wondering if you should continue in a relationship that seems more like a friendship these days, stop and think about all those moments that were great. Search your cerebral hard drive and call up some older files that you haven't accessed in awhile. You might be pleasantly surprised at your findings. Make a list of all the things you adore about your mate. Stop focusing on what's wrong with your relationship and start thinking about what's right. You're certain to find more good than bad. After all, YOU were the one who invited that wonderful person to be a part of your life in the first place. You can't be THAT terrible a judge of character, right?

Change IS life, that's why the canvas is so vast - to include all of the seasons of your many experiences. Adapting to those changes is human nature. Things rarely remain the same, so you have an opportunity to shine as you adapt and become stronger with your faith and your relationship. If you care about any other more than yourself, then you are one of the lucky to have found love. Don't throw it away because you think it will be too much work to fix it. Chances are, it was never really that broken.

So, get back in the game - not with your head, but with your heart. The greatest advice anyone ever gave me was "Listen to your heart. It will never steer you wrong."

Peace, love and change...it's what makes the world go 'round.

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