Monday, July 17, 2017

If Today Was My Last

I saw on a game show last night that when they surveyed 100 men about how many times a day they said “I love you” to their wife, the most popular answer was one. That was shocking to me.   

If you knew today was your last day alive, what would you do?  My day wouldn’t be about doing things I never got to do. My day would be about one thing: LOVE.

I would spend every moment making sure the love of my life knew how much she was loved. I would give infinite kisses and embrace her tightly. I would tell her everything I ever wanted to tell her but held back because I might’ve thought it silly or over-the-top at the time. It wouldn’t be silly now, it would be paramount. I would tell her not to worry about what’s to come without me, and assure her I would be there in spirit watching over her and protecting her. I would let her know that when she felt it was time to move on, it would be okay. No guilt! Life is to be LIVED and to be LOVED and that is the greatest gift of all.

I would tell her that she has given me more love than I ever felt I deserved. I would let her know that she made me incredibly happy and that I was so lucky that she chose me. I would walk her through some of my favorite memories and look back on our life together. I would let her know that I’m not afraid, that I’ll be okay.

I’d make sure she knows not to spend a lot of money on my funeral. I won’t need any of that because I’ll be gone. Elaborate funerals are for the living. She would be better served by using that memorial fund for a nice long vacation somewhere that she’s always wanted to go. Don’t waste it by dressing me up and putting me in a box for people to weep over. I’d tell her that I’ve had a great life because of the love she has given me and the amazing things we got to experience together.

I know that these things are easier for me to say than for her to feel. I’ve lost someone I loved. I know that pain. I know that feeling of emptiness and longing. But I think one of the greatest gifts you can give someone is to have the discussion about when your time comes. It’s inevitable for all of us, yet we avoid talking about it like the plague. And I know that it’s because I’ve lost someone, that I stress the importance of having that conversation.

Life is so fleeting. Just a blip and then we are gone. All we leave behind is our legacy, maybe some physical things and hopefully a lot of great memories. Knowing that, why do we get so caught up in our work and our devices that we don’t take time to express what everyone will wish they’d had when we’re gone?

The closer I get to the end of my life, the more I want to live, enjoy the moments, give all the love I can. I wish I’d done it all along, but at least I have today. Tomorrow might not come. But today I can give all the love I have in my heart to the greatest person I’ve ever known. I know she will keep it forever. And in this life, I have been loved. To me, that’s all that matters in the end.

Be good to each other.

Please excuse any misuses of tense in my writing. When I’m emotional, I just write from the heart – all rules are out the window.